.....
I know, I know, I know
Part of me says let it go
Everything must have it seasons
Round and round it goes
And every day's a one before
But this time, this time

I'm gonna try anything that just feels better
Tell me what to do
You know I can't see through the haze around me
And I do anything that just feel better

And I can't find my way
God I need a change
And I do anything that just feel better
Any little thing that just feel better
.....

I hate you. I hate it everytime you do this to me.

If I die young bury me in satin
Lay me down on a bed of roses
Sink me in the river at dawn
Send me away with the words of a love song
oh oh oh oh

Lord make me a rainbow, I’ll shine down on my mother
She'll know I’m safe with you when she stands under my colors, oh and
Life ain't always what you think it ought to be, no
ain't even grey, but she buries her baby

The sharp knife of a short life, well
I’ve had just enough time

And I’ll be wearing white when I come into your kingdom
I’m as green as the ring on my little cold finger
I’ve never known the lovin' of a man
But it sure felt nice when he was holding my hand
There’s a boy here in town says he’ll love me forever
Who would have thought forever could be severed by

The sharp knife of a short life, well
I’ve had just enough time

So put on your best boys and I’ll wear my pearls
What I never did is done

A penny for my thoughts, oh no I’ll sell them for a dollar
They're worth so much more after I’m a goner

And maybe then you’ll hear the words I been singin’
Funny when you're dead how people start listenin’

If I die young bury me in satin
Lay me down on a bed of roses
Sink me in the river at dawn
Send me away with the words of a love song

The ballad of a dove
Go with peace and love
Gather up your tears, keep ‘em in your pocket
Save them for a time when your really gonna need 'em oh

The sharp knife of a short life, well
I’ve had just enough time

So put on your best boys and I’ll wear my pearls

Hate is not the opposite of love. Indifference is. Infact, before you can hate someone, you need to love that person first. And you can only feel hurt when love and hate is in place.

Love, Hate... what difference does it make? If I were to say I love you, I might as well say I hate you. And if you hear me say I love you, don't get excited. I might mean the other one.

They're just feelings, why label it?

I wish I can draw/sketch, whatever you call it. I mean I can draw, but I wish I can draw better. To be able to draw with my visual mind and not the logical mind.

You see, words kept accumulating in my head and I just can't form not a single sentence out of them. And it hurts not being able to express things properly. It used to be so much easier to channel the frustration, anger, happiness in a plain white canvas in forms of words. Ready to tell the world what exactly I'm feeling. It doesn't matter if no one read it but at least it's out there. It's been expressed and let out from this tangled thoughts.

I guess I should take some time to learn to switch from words to drawing on the white canvas.

Lately it feels like I'm becoming this person, someone that I don't really like. A person who is quiet, pessimistic, irritated. I loathe this person. All that this person does is bring me down. It's like this person is living in a world full of hurt, and no hope at all. Screw you sad, angry bitch. Leave me alone.

There, let's move on now.

Jealousy. Wont be quite ourself if it's not there. That's what makes me, me and you, you.

"Death is a natural part of life. Rejoice for those who transform into the Force. Mourn them do not. Miss them do not. Attachment leads to jealousy. The shadow of greed, that is."
-Yoda